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Valentine Funny Quotes

Browse our collection of handpicked valentine funny quotes here. Send the best valentine funny quotes to your loved ones!

♥♥Today is Valentine’s Day—or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!— Jay Leno
♥♥Love is not always in the air on Valentine’s Day, especially by spending time in family law court.— Jeff Williams
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♥♥I feel bad for people who die on Valentine’s Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?— Jay Leno
♥♥We sent out 3,000 Valentines to the ladies, asking them to be my voter.— Terry Dill
♥♥I was in a band called The Valentines and they broke up last week.— Bon Scott
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♥♥I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.— Robert Orben
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♥♥Without Valentine’s Day, February would be… well, January.— Jim Gaffigan
♥♥Valentine’s Day’ is just a nicer way of saying ‘National Feel Bad if You’re Single Day.’— Jordan Peters
♥♥I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.— Unknown, sometimes attributed to Mark Twain
♥♥On Valentine’s Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays—fear.— Dave Barry
♥♥Happy Valentine’s Day. My other invitation was to go quail hunting with Dick Cheney.— Bill Gates
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